WILLIAMEDIA

At our worst moments when we jump forward with decisions we did not intend on arriving where do we go with them. These moments I am familiar with not because of someone else’s mistakes or by just involving myself in societal taboos like procrastination. I try to go forward but end up short of any real destination without any drive to go farther forward than I have ever before. That is yet what I have not found to capture in myself. Through inspiration I have found short haikus of what I enjoy but they only have provided me with less than an income potential and only momentary emotional responses. These are are the things I hoped would light the fire of my passions to a future and a life. I do not want to change my current ambitions but feel as though my skills are worth less and that I am not making any sort of progress as a person and in skills that I can grow upon into a career. I know the change we need comes from inside us or from the environment around us and I seem to be waiting in my mind for both to happen even though I would rather the former of the two. That drive, that pushes my friends towards what makes them happy, is what I am missing even though I yearn for it at every moment of my here & now life but seem to only emulate in heartfelt spirit and tears of my soul. I wrote this to get it all out to make sense what I was thinking maybe thats part of the problem I lack a voice to honestly speak to the people I truly love because I am afraid of disappointing everyone especially myself.